Who’d of thought a Sunday with the family would turn out so eye-opening?
So I’m leaving a relative’s house in the LA suburb of Rosemead, getting some gas about a quarter mile away before starting the 40 minute drive back to the San Fernando Valley. During which I hear a loud pop, like a car backfiring. It was a bit startling but I went back to my business of half-filling my tank.
Less than a minute later, another gas station patron shouted out “Someone just got shot!” I turned, and not 10-15 feet away from me on the street curb lay a bloody body. But by the slow heaving of his chest, he was still alive.
My first thought was “Is this a joke”? Is this guy some actor pretending to be gravely injured?” Must have been a knee-jerk reaction from living in LA so long.
Once I saw that this no hoax, my second thought of “Holy shit, there was a drive-by shooting!” flashed in my head like a teleprompter. And then came the worry of, “I have family living in this neighborhood!” But as more bystanders began to gather at the scene, someone caught sight of the man’s gun right next to him. And a closer look at the location of his wound confirmed it.
This unknown man had just shot himself in the head…in broad daylight.
I stood there watching the dying man with this abnormal nonreaction. Maybe it was shock or just not knowing how to process the sight of a dying person, but the only thing I knew is that I should wait until the authorities came. Many people were also in shock, some making uncomfortable jokes about the situation. What could one do at the sight of a guy with a self-inflicted head wound leaking like a faucet?
After one of the other patrons called 911, the police and fire departments swarmed the area in minutes, and shortly on one half of the street was blocked off. I gave my statement, during which this unknown man was declared dead at the scene. Once I was okayed to leave, the event was all I could think about. How could someone get to such a point where they saw this as their only release? What would one have to lose, or be feeling at that moment where they’re resolved to committing suicide? A guessing game scenario of what could have happened leading this man to such a point or even what if I might have done if I saw the suicide as it happened ran through my head.
Then I recalled and article a friend sent me with the author decrying how alone one can feel in LA, how it hollows you out and leaves you empty. Oh, can I relate!
Now I’m not claiming to know the cause of why this man killed himself, but I wouldn’t be totally stunned if feeling alone and utterly empty in the City Of Angels had something to do with it.
Who knows where I’ll be in a year. Or five. Or ten! I just hope that if I ever get to such a low point in my existence, I still have a friend or family member to save me from myself. Or just remembering the necessity of staying connected to someone.
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